Its funny how one feels bittersweet about school semesters coming to an end. Even though I so desperately wanted it to end, I couldn’t help but feel like it ended wrong. I’m not sure if its the anxiety over knowing what my final grades are or social stress or both, but I feel like I’ve been sucked completely dry.
Its gotten harder to enjoy life’s pleasures. There are days when I don’t know what to do with myself. Its kind of scary actually.
All of this has got me thinking about why I let myself feel this way. There are somethings in life that do not change. I have been an avid Harry Potter fan since the first book ever came out. As I got to the third, prisoner of Azkaban, I was introduced to these creatures that are meant to torture and suck out ones soul; Dementors.
Rowling was not far from the truth. There are many forms dementors can take up in the muggle world. Jobs, people, places, opportunities even.
This made me reflect on every aspect of my life and made me realize something awful: everything has managed to suck me dry of the little life I still had in me. Its possibly one of the most painful realizations I’ve made. Every thing that I love: school, works, relationships, friends, and even hobbies have taken everything out of me. Its painful in the fact that I keep giving and giving and get absolutely nothing in return.
I used to blame the life’s dementors for all my problems. Except I didn’t realize I was inviting them in to my life. Like attracts like and we all have to be aware of that.
Its time for me to take my life back. Focus on myself and have a little bit of fun. I definitely deserve it. Besides if dementors seem to be getting out of hand, there is no reason why one can’t simply banish them away. After all we choose to pay attention to them.
I want to extend a warm hug to everyone, I hope you have all been having better days than I have.
We’ll talk more later. ❤